Can you imagine standing up to your own family to question age-old customs that everyone around you follows without a thought? Most of us would hesitate. But Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel was not like most of us.
Born into a traditional peasant family in Gujarat, Patel respected his roots deeply. But he refused to follow traditions that made no sense to him. Whether it was the practice of giving dowry, the burden of expensive death rituals, or the prejudices of caste and community, he dared to question blind faith and hollow customs.
Breaking Free of Blind Faith and Questioning
In 1914, when Patel’s father, Zaverbhai, passed away, the family’s eldest son, Narsimhabhai, decided to host a community feast on the thirteenth day after the death, a common ritual at the time.
“These rituals are pointless,” said Vithalbhai, the third brother. “Why waste money like this?”
“I agree,” added Vallabhbhai. “Such customs only increase the burden on a family that is already grieving.”
But Narsimhabhai was furious. “This is an age-old practice! Who are you to question it?”
“So what if it’s old?” Vithalbhai shot back. “If it’s meaningless, we should stop doing it!”
Vallabhbhai stepped in calmly. “If you really wish to honour Bapu’s memory, why not use the money for something good…a donation, a school, a social cause…instead of wasting it on a feast?”
The argument grew heated. In anger, the eldest brother declared, “If you refuse to contribute, you will lose your share of the family property!”
The two younger brothers exchanged a look and quietly agreed. They gave up their inheritance rather than take part in what they believed was wrong. The ceremony went ahead without them. But their act of principle spoke louder than any ritual ever could.
“I do not believe in any caste or community. The whole of India is my village and men of all communities are my friends and relations…”
Sardar Patel speaking to people in his hometown Karamsad in 1942
Mocking Dowry with Wit
Patel’s disapproval of outdated customs often came laced with sharp humour. At an engagement in his Patidar community, he overheard relatives discussing how much dowry to demand.
“Our boy is a prize catch,” said one. “We should get at least five thousand rupees.”
“I say we ask for more!” said another.
Patel, unable to stay silent, retorted sharply, “Why are you all so worried? Why not put the groom up for auction? Let the bull fetch the best price!”
The room fell silent. Patel’s sarcasm had struck home.
Years later, when his own son Dayabhai was to be married, Patel put his beliefs into practice. He refused all dowry and insisted on a simple ceremony at Mahatma Gandhi’s Sabarmati Ashram, without any feast or fanfare. The bride, Yashoda, was from Virsad, a village that had a long-standing feud with Patel’s own village, Karamsad. Many opposed the match, but Patel went ahead, determined to end such narrow-minded divisions.
A decade later, he again supported a wedding between his niece Vimla and a boy from Virsad, proving that his convictions were not limited to words.
“Forget all distinctions such as high families and low families,” he told the people of Karamsad. “All are children of the same God.”
A Leader Who Dared to Think Differently
This powerful story is one of fifty inspiring tales from Mallika Ravikumar’s book Sardar Patel: Man of Iron, Words of Steel (Hachette India). Each story from the book brings alive Patel’s values through vivid storytelling and life lessons that remain just as relevant today — courage, leadership, rationality, and fairness.
If you’d like to explore more stories like this about how Patel challenged superstition, inspired unity, and built India’s foundations brick by brick, you’ll find them all in the book.
🛒 Buy the Book:
👉 Amazon India – Sardar Patel: Man of Iron, Words of Steel
